Baring my soul,
to help you better understand my truth.
How these internal issues,
started at my roots;
back when I was still a youth.
And everybody thought what I was experiencing was just a fluke,
It’s not so cute,
to be a broken adult.
I wish you took more time tending to my wounds, before my whole life became so unscrewed…
Has left me bitter.
You are working hard to build this legacy,
That really does not include me.
I miss who I used to be;
Back when everything was clearer.
And my love for myself was higher.
Born a wildflower.
While fighting against a system that want to see you devour.
Hold on to your will!
There are those who would see it lowered.
You have always had the power.
Now go out and continue to empower,
Your fellow women in doubt without their laughters.
Born a wildflower.
You are now a woman of wonder,
With endless superpowers.
So come, let me help you carry this weight on you shoulders;
Let me be your anchor, we are stronger together…
I’m not woke,
Internally still broke.
Thoughts of self hate,
Hold a special place
I have been overthinking lately,
Of how hard it has been to break free;
And find security,
In my own society,
In people that look like me,
Leading me to question reality.
As if this was not meant to be,
I am not suppose to be woke.
Pause, let me soak,
in self pity for a while;
With how much you took from me.
Not letting me properly explore my sexuality.
I have been looking for validation;
From individuals with no aspirations.
When my own foundation,
needed no correction.
Let confidence find you kins;
Much like how the sun radiates off my melanated skin.
Bask in your worth,
Like you were a blessing from unknown origins.
It has been harder to find you, and
make time for us two.
Harder to reach out and hug you,
to tell you when I feel blue.
Because in my mind I am better now, therefore brand new…
Since opening up about what I been through, somehow forgetting how the world had its way with me and left me unscrewed…
Yet deep down I know I can never forget to love you.
I am here now speaking my truth.. Healing my bruises
But I will be back to my innate self soon…
Some memories are buried deep inside where they cannot hurt me….
They are too heavy to carry.
That is until they become too overpowering;
they start to hunt my dreams.
Constantly reminding me of how I was not worthy of a life free of trauma and conflicts….
Leaving me in a trance, where all I want to do is disappear.
This is how I feel inside…
While on the outside I am pretending to be the same old me… The me you’ve seen whenever I am coping positively with my past history..
This is how I feel inside..
Battling to reach my peak in recovery…
Why are we ashamed to talk about the depressed?
As if you can go on to ignore my restlessness.
As if you can stay quiet and not validate
how, when I’m like this I’m simply not the same…
Yes that’s me.
You are not mistaken.
This is not a drill.
In coming home to myself;
I discovered my infinite flow of power.
The power of self love, which I now use to establish my self worth.
The power of self care which has been reinforcing my ability to say no more often, because to put it simply; I need to take time for me, so that I can continue to work on my sanity.
The power of self awareness, where in all fairness I was lacking clarity, relating to how my past trauma affected/effected me presently.
How nice is it to be free
from my instabilities?
Becoming one with myself.
Feeding my self confidence.
Learning to be at peace.
Powerhouse I am…
Powerhouse is me…
She has been here waiting for you to be self liberated.
Much like you used to be when you were first created.
Before the world of men got their hands on you.
And somehow led you to believe you didn’t have a clue.
About your right as a human being, about your worth as part of this society.
She has been waiting here for you to get a clue, she knows they don’t want you to
have a breakthrough.
To somehow liberate yourself from the heaviness of the world and learn the truth….
So come through…
Many of us came here as children and today work hard to give back to a country that doesn’t always love us back. What if we could mobilize to create coalitions? What if we could use the skills we’ve obtained to bring programming that will further empower Haiti? Do you think you will take part in the movement? Stop talking and start doing! We are stronger together? Do you think it’s possible?